If you are reading this because you are waiting with bated breath for me to explain the physics behind contacting the deceased, well, you had best find another blog on that topic because this one ain’t it! LOL! This is instead about misconceptions the general public may have about how folks like myself converse with the “dead” people and animals. 

Misconception #1

Some folks think connecting to the deceased is just like calling them on the phone—enter the correct information (their name) with the intent to reach them, and voila! There they are, and the conversation is off and running! Wellll, sometimes it may be that way, or not. Some spirits communicate directly in plain language into the left side of my head, and they show up quickly and eagerly. They are clear as a bell and make my job a breeze. Oh, if only it were that way every session! But discerning the messages and information about themselves that spirits sometimes provide is about like trying to pull hen’s teeth.

These are some common things that throw a big old monkey wrench right into the middle of it all:

*The deceased communicates more by pictures, but without any verbal explanation. I have to then ask questions so I can decipher the meaning. It’s like solving a puzzle. 

*They deceased is experiencing guilt or shame about their behavior on earth and might be only partially ready to talk. They may waffle back and forth about whether they will speak. It’s like driving a car while hitting the gas, then slamming on the brakes.

*They tell you what is important to THEM, not what is important to the client. Read that again, folks, because that can cause lotsa issues. People think their loved one will know exactly what they need from the conversation, but just like us, the spirits have their own agenda of what they want to convey.

*It may sound like I am making this up, but I swear I am not! Some spirits are VERY uncomfortable talking with a medium. They thought such activities were creepy when they were on earth, and they still do. I had a spirit a few weeks ago flip out and tell me to get away from him—I gave him the hebee gebees. HAHA! I had to chuckle. 

*They may not show up to talk because they are busy elsewhere, and there is nothing I can do to coax them into a discussion. I tell people this right up front so they don’t think I am automatically going to get Aunt Gertie to chat when Aunt Gertie is off doing her own thang!

MISCONCEPTION #2

When a medium first connects with a spirit, they must provide what we call “evidence.” They must share information that allows the client to know beyond the shadow of a doubt that this is the spirit with whom they want to reconnect. 

Sometimes clients have it in their head that they will only believe it’s their loved one if the spirit provides one very specific piece of evidence. They feel the spirit will comprehend why this is so critical to them and will automatically spit that answer right out. 

Au contraire. Spirits want to share what is meaningful to THEM, not necessarily what is meaningful to the client—they have their own perspectives and agendas. Even though I may encourage them to share what is meaningful to the client, for a variety of reasons, they often won’t do that (that is a blog for another day.)

MISCONCEPTION #3

Folks often feel that the deceased transform into this omniscient, wise, loving version of their earthly human self once they transition into the ethers. They certainly have the option to grow spiritually, review their lessons, and strive to help those on earth. Do they all take that option? That would be no—they don’t. Or they haven’t yet when I connect with them.

 Most of the ones I encounter are in the process of spiritual growth, but they are still themselves—still stubborn, still think talking to mediums is creepy, still feel regret over their actions, and so on. They often want to apologize and make amends to the client, but they are in the process of growth—just like we are still in the process ourselves. 

Or the client may feel that the spirit’s “body” is all healed and free from disease. Well, yeah, it is because there is no physical self—that is buried or cremated. They may, however, still identify with whatever ailment or malady that plagued them and discuss it as evidence. They may want to share how it impacted their lives. I have had clients get upset because they thought their loved one was now healed and no longer in pain, then are disturbed to hear the spirit talking about their breathing problems or whatnot. I then explain how this all works to hopefully put their mind at ease. I have never met a spirit who says they are still experiencing physical pain.

MISCONCEPTION #4

Clients are often fixated on the way their loved one died, especially their pets. The way in which their loved one died can cause all manner of emotional pain to them, and they are having trouble letting go of that. Pets particularly don’t want us dwelling on how they left their body—it doesn’t matter to them. The deceased focuses on their experiences and the love they shared rather than how their body expired. Even if they died in an accident, they are unaware of what happened. They really do not want their loved one obsessing about the physical death. 

I hope this gives you a better understanding of how the spirit people and pets think and communicate. The spirit realm is vastly different than most of us are aware of!