Advice to the Lovelorn on Valentine’s Day

When I was an unwed broad, I frequently had a dude around at Valentine’s Day. Usually kinda worked itself out that way…mostly because for years, my  dating standards included concepts such as “makes me laugh until I spew water from my nose,” “digs a crazy party,” and “has long, curly, brown hair and vaguely resembles Jesus of Nazareth minus the white frock.” Here is a comedic moment from my romantic past: I gleefully toted home one Jesus looking dude who was also an artist and, frankly, weird.

When I inquired hopefully  of Mumsy what she thought of the dude, her reply was–keep in mind, she delivered this with a totally straight face, serious as a heart attack–“He was kinda gray.” HA HA HA! I eventually progressed to higher standards, and changed the sign above my head that read, “Only hippies, artists, and musicians need apply”. I shockingly wound up becoming matrimonially hooked up with a law professor, and this chap is a keeper!!!

The most righteous, rockin’ thing I EVER discovered when I was single, regarding this particular holiday, is that appreciating and loving myself was the MOST BITCHIN’ way I could spend my day. Don’t need anyone else to buy me mouth watering, blubbery thigh-inducing decadent chocolate! Buy myself something else, perhaps a gaudy bauble from Steinmart that I had no need for, but dearly drooled over? Hell yeah! Didn’t buy myself gifts to stuff away any tears and morose emotions about not being someone’s hot chick. I did it because I genuinely loved and appreciated myself, realizing that loving me is the cake in life–the male species is the hairy, muscular, meow-making  can of frosting.

In fact, that is how I snagged my old man, the lovely and talented Cutie. 🙂 Awwww……me woves him….. After a failed long term relationship which seemed to be steering powerfully toward marriage instead steered itself right into the shitter with a loud PLOP, I was raggy as hell. I had resting bitch face day in, day out, in my sleep, during aerobics….you name it, I was cranky about the demise of what I thought was my soulmate connection.  As the months rolled on, I finally found peace with my life. I was in my early 30’s, and I had everything I wanted except a boyfriend. That is when I decided that a guy in my life no longer mattered. It truly didn’t. I had a fantastic roommate, opportunities for copious travel, darling true friends, a family I actually enjoyed being with, work I loved, and a sparkling career as a counselor ahead of me. Who needed someone with a penis around? I didn’t. And that is right when the bugger showed up. If he hadn’t shown up, (insert shoulder shrug), I am positive I would still be fulfilled as a single dame and having a blast.

Our beginning is a tale for another day, but you get the gist. Go love on you. That is the MOST CRITICAL, daring, life transforming feat you can do on Valentine’s Day. And all the rest of the days of the year. Love you, and love will find you–not just romantic love, but love of life. And you cannot beat that with a stick!

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