My Most BIZARRE Meditation Yet

Untitled design-7I have been meditating for many moons, and for the most part, nothing has struck me as too terribly odd….except for the time I felt like I had been punched in the gut, but that is a story for another day.

When I see my guides, I view their faces and sometimes the tops of their “body”. They just kinda show up, no big fanfare, or fireworks–it’s simply “Yo! I’m here!” They always appear in my third eye (my inner movie screen, if you will), and every visit is pretty much standard-same thing occurs each time.

So earlier this week, on a darling, adorable, azure blue skied morn, I hopped gleefully onto my bike, Bungholio. Off we sped, leaving a trail of dust behind us as I pedaled like a maniac down the path. Such delight! After a spell, I decided to park my crack and breathe-empty my mind and see what I picked up. Holy. Shite.

Spirits (guides, animals, whoever) have NEVER entered my consciousness on the right side of my body. I feel them on the left and have for the past 10 years that I have been able to contact them. Until that morning. Suddenly, my head swerved to the right as I continued to inhale, wondering who the eff was showing up. As I peer at the unfolding scenario, a horse and buggy, similar to the one above, pulled up and stopped. The carriage door opens, and very breezily, an older male with a long, white beard, donned in a plain white robe, steps out. I felt the energy to see if he was a turd or a friend. He seemed amicable, and proceeds to begin giving me advice about my health. (No, he didn’t advise me to stop dropping acid or eating shrooms, ya big silly!) Stunned, I asked him his name. Bernard. My new guide. He told me to quit eating bites of banana and instead have bites of kiwi. Too bad I was so startled that I have forgotten everything else he said!

And then, just as quickly as he arrived, he placed his buns into the carriage, and the horses galloped into the ethers from which they had emerged.

Hmmm. That is still all I can say. Hmmm. Arriving in a horse drawn carriage. Okayyyyyy……

Moral of the story: keep an open mind because you NEVER know what you will experience when you meditate.

What is your strangest meditation outcome? Do share!


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