Top 3 Reasons To Receive a Psychic Reading

Need a reason to get a psychic reading? Well, here’s a good one I borrowed from your mama: “Because I said so.” HA HA! (Insert uproarious laughter soundtrack from cheesy sitcom.)

As I prepared to write this, I pondered why clients seek my services. Here are some of the big arse causes of my phone ringing:  Continue reading “Top 3 Reasons To Receive a Psychic Reading”

Pardon me as I shat my pantaloons! (My first psychic reading)

Untitled design-6I ALWAYS tell clients what to expect prior to their first intuitive/psychic consultation with me. Why? I have had some very strange things happen during body/energy work, with almost none being more bizarre than the first psychic reading I had. (The strangest thing I have ever witnessed involved the smiting of a tuning fork and the practitioner howling like a wolf. I wish I were kidding you. I am not.)

So what was this odd encounter that has profoundly shaped the manner in which I conduct my business? Well, sit back, kick ya feet up, and grab a cold one. It is comical now, but at the time, it rattled my cage. When I began this profession, I swore that no one would ever have that experience with me. Continue reading “Pardon me as I shat my pantaloons! (My first psychic reading)”

Please Appreciate Your Package (And tell anyone who disagrees with you to sod off)

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My package of what, you may be wondering? Menfolk might assume I am referring to their crotchal unit–and yes, indeed, I am! This pertains to all humans, of any gender, but especially us chicks. Growing up a middle class caucasian with abundant estrogen and fun bags leaves us susceptible to a very foul, dangerous disease: the loathing and shame of our bodies. A rabid phobia of being “fat.”

I read some most excellent and compelling blogs this week that are mind blowing. One was penned by a male who had suffered life-impairing, profound shame due to the size of his penis for the majority of his 30 some years. Continue reading “Please Appreciate Your Package (And tell anyone who disagrees with you to sod off)”

My Mumsy’s Stellar Advice

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Mumsy also told me to avoid men bedecked in office casual who lurked about in manner similar to Bela Lugosi.

Mine mother is a very intelligent woman who also possesses a plethora of common sense.  When I was a babbling twenty-something in the throes of a wretched romance, I called Mumsy for an opinion. I was stymied about how to deal with the situation–sometimes my guy was nifty, other times, he was shifty. And shitty. I will always remember what she told me:

“IF YOU ARE HAPPIER WHEN YOU ARE WITH HIM, STAY WITH HIM. IF YOU ARE HAPPIER WHEN YOU AREN’T, THEN LEAVE HIM.”

Continue reading “My Mumsy’s Stellar Advice”

Qualities You Had Best Possess If You Have a Hankering to be a Professional Psychic

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There are some really, um, questionable, psychics out there. I have been to one myself–he was so totally full of it! Dude was quite knowledgable about astrology, and every observation out of his cake hole was just typical for my sign, a Leo. He also muttered some gibberish about a spirit under a tree in the backyard and some chick putzing about the crib….all highly general and truly of no use. The other I have fortunately never met. This one really makes my blood boil.

Psychic was reading for guests at a PARTY!!–A PARTY!!!–A JOYFUL, KICK-UP-THY-HEELS SOIREE– and actually told one lady that her daughter would die soon. W!T!F! How rude and insensitive. That is a bit of info I never tell anyone, let alone when someone is unwinding and letting her hair down.

Continue reading “Qualities You Had Best Possess If You Have a Hankering to be a Professional Psychic”

Daisy’s Discourse on Death

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There was no blog last Friday because I was simply overwhelmed with grief. It was the one year anniversary of our dog Daisy’s passing. At times, I do quite well without her in her physical body. Other times, I really am not worth a shit. Friday was one of the “not worth a shit” days.

Daisy was truly my best friend, teacher and offspring all rolled into one feisty, yappy, four-legged pumpkin head of a pooch. The Universe broke the mold when it brought forth Doodalee Dimitri. Continue reading “Daisy’s Discourse on Death”

Advice to the Lovelorn on Valentine’s Day

When I was an unwed broad, I frequently had a dude around at Valentine’s Day. Usually kinda worked itself out that way…mostly because for years, my  dating standards included concepts such as “makes me laugh until I spew water from my nose,” “digs a crazy party,” and “has long, curly, brown hair and vaguely resembles Jesus of Nazareth minus the white frock.” Here is a comedic moment from my romantic past: I gleefully toted home one Jesus looking dude who was also an artist and, frankly, weird.

When I inquired hopefully  of Mumsy what she thought of the dude, her reply was–keep in mind, she delivered this with a totally straight face, serious as a heart attack–“He was kinda gray.” HA HA HA! I eventually progressed to higher standards, and changed the sign above my head that read, “Only hippies, artists, and musicians need apply”. I shockingly wound up becoming matrimonially hooked up with a law professor, and this chap is a keeper!!!

Continue reading “Advice to the Lovelorn on Valentine’s Day”

Keep Your Power

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People seek my intuitive services for a vast number of reasons–nosiness; wanting to speak with a loved one in Spirit; and usually questions concerning romance, career, health, and finances. Regardless of what else I may say during our session, they all receive this message: Keep Your Power. Do not allow my intuition to guide you more than your own does.

An honest, ethical psychic/intuitive does not make client’s decisions for them. We are there merely as a guide to their journey….not the one making it. We can provide helpful insight and answers that they are unaware of, but they should always use that info in whatever way they see fit.

Continue reading “Keep Your Power”

What I’ve Learned About Death

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Grim Reaper Dons A Green Hoodie, above

I shall begin with stating the most obvious fact about death; we all are gonna do it at some point. Croak and pay taxes–there ya are! Two things your hiney is not going to get out of!!!!

Being a psychic has added a different dimension to my views on leaving this bag of bones behind. In some ways, I feel way more mellow about croaking because of what I have learned. In other ways, it hasn’t changed a solitary thing.

I still lose my marbles when someone I love dies. They may be chatting away left and right, blabbing up a storm to me, but so what. I continue to wail and sob and feel pissy they are no longer in the body I knew them in. I get super huffy if they die young. Sadness overcomes me if I ponder no longer being in my current body. I find I am quite attached to it.

Continue reading “What I’ve Learned About Death”

I Bet Your Car’s Aura Stinks!

IMG_0886 (1)Yes, Indeed I do! I would bet a crap load of $$$ on that fact. How do I know? ‘Cause most folks don’t clean the energy in and around their ride. Why would ya, you may be pondering as you scratch your chiny, chin, chin?

(Here is a fascinating aside–as usual, I digress. When was a young lass on the playground surrounded by a bevy of additional young lads and lasses, we concocted the brilliant idea that if someone tickled you under your chin, and you grinned, then you were pregnant. The jaunty rhyme accompanying that was,”Tickle, tickle under your chin, if you are pregnant, you will grin.” Alright. Enough of that shit. On with the blog….)

Continue reading “I Bet Your Car’s Aura Stinks!”